How the Teen Brain Transforms Relationships
by Daniel Siegel
Takeaways
The Facts
- Adolescent brain experiences more intense emotion, finds greater interest in risk and novelty, and seeks attachment in peers.
- Teens are more likely to see emotion in other people, even if there’s none.
- Due to the increased emotionality, teens are more likely to become irritated, upset, and moody.
- Release amounts of dopamine are higher in an adolescent, which means teenagers can get easily bored.
- Adolescents engage in hyper-rational thinking, meaning the rain focuses on the positive, thrilling aspect of a choice rather than the negative, dangerous aspects.
- Adolescents want to connect to their peers because that’s who they’ll rely on when they leave home.
Solutions
- Adults can try to listen to teens rather than punish them for being emotional.
- Parents and teens need to work together to cultivate the benefits of shifting attachment relationships from parents to peers.
- Parents can help their children develop social skills so that they can manage their peer groups in healthier ways.
Reflections
When I was in fifth grade, it seemed like everything changed. Suddenly, my close group of friends drifted apart. Some of the girls became interested in linking arms with the boys and was adopted by the popular circle. Others found friends with more similar interests. It felt as if I were being left behind. Now I know that that’s not necessarily true, that perhaps I had changed just as much as they had. Reading this article gave me insight into how those changes happened and why they did. Because I so often only consider the sociocultural perspective, it’s always interesting to read about the biological basis. It gives the sense that relationships will inevitably change throughout life, but so do we and how we choose to respond is an expression of whether we can make the most of our relationships no matter what.
